this way

although i am supposed to be doing other things, i have been obsessing on filmmaking. it's my pattern to do this. the only downside to my habit is that i tend to overdose and flame out which means i attend to my interests sporadically as recovery permits! it would be nice to nurture a smoother approach, but, it may just not be in my cards. i also tend to obsess on details but only those that are easy to reach, such as things on the internet or things that i can manipulate in my mind.

it occurred to me today that much of what makes people seem old is the weight of their aspirations. the older one gets, the more one may have aspired to this and that and the more you aspire, especially if you aspire unrealistically, the more you don't get done, so life starts to seem like a long list of unaccomplishments. this may be just my take, but i feel my energy surge when i keep my goals clear and simple, and specifically focus on one thing. as a teenager, with the structure of my life defined for me (and little past to ponder), focusing was easy. as an adult, i think it's possible to maintain a similar focus, but it requires discipline to keep minutiae from taking over. for example, it's easier to sit around and answer email and surf the web than to actually create something. like any good story, i think life requires structure in order to succeed.