this is a still from the video i'm producing for an opera in new york entitled howls for saddam by bill le page, which will be performed at new york university next thursday night, just six days away. i find myself amazed by how often my creative process repeats and how much i dread the process. i start with a lot of ideas, mostly vague and pick one or two to play with. i'm excited. i work on specific aspects of a piece, usually a detail of some sort. in this case i investigated slow motion. then comes the disillusionment phase when the slow motion, for instance, doesn't work and i find myself at a total loss. this throws me into the next phase, denial. in this phase i do anything but work on the piece. fear of failure and the unknown creeps in but, as i should well know by now, the unknown is where the solutions lie. i rediscover this in the next phase, which is often preceded by an accidental discovery of some sort, in this case, matting a series of images. i have a big "aha!" that compels me to open the door to the uncharted and creativity blossoms. it feels like the triumph of the unconscious over the conscious. work begins in earnest, hopefully not too late. this process requires tremendous pressure, kind of like the geology that produces oil. if i didn't have a deadline it is nearly impossible for me to produce. if i could internally generate the pressures deadlines impose i could really make something of myself!
1 comment:
Matt, step out of this self-deprecation, you're much more dynamic than I or most of the people which I personally know. Being hard on yourself is no way to summon serendipity with your creative genius. Save the torture for where you have to make a choice in the unchangeable cut.
This is really interesting you're divulging of the creative process and exposing your most unique logic. So much like Shakespeare's Othello would describe as wearing your heart on you sleeve. Your writing in the first person is beguiling in the most delightful way.
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