parades & beads

gator and grovelers

rider

throw me somethin'

aftermath

calm

passing sax

we went out bead whoring last night. this is a respected new orleans tradition and on the parade routes you will find all manner of people from the homeless and infirm to the tuxedoed and gowned, though the latter tend to whore from balconies rather than the gutter. but, wherever you are and whoever you are, you do the same thing. you wait and wait, sometimes for hours, drinking optionally and sometimes perfunctorily, until through a fog of queasy perception a glistening, bedazzled hundred foot long alligator with bright beady eyes conveys upon its back a crew (spelled krewe down here) of more profoundly foggy patrons who don glossy featureless masks (that bring to mind "silence of the lambs") and who, through an undisclosed and no-bid process, selectively hurl wads of colored plastic beads at certain of the begging crowd. because i'm tall i'm able to intercept and interrupt many of the throws which would otherwise go primarily to those with more sex appeal to the riders.

of course, the picture i'm painting is stereotypical and reinforces the prurient at the expense of the sacred. while it is true, it isn't the whole truth. mardi gras is as wholesome as it is unsavory, one of the few balanced american rituals i've encountered. if you want to find the tits, ass and frat boys that television networks can't seem to resist, there are a couple blocks on bourbon street where you can wallow in them. but, you can find that most anywhere if you're determined. what you won't find most places, and what you do find here in new orleans, is a unique magnanimous spirit that, for the duration of parades and the weeks-long celebration of mardi gras, at least, encourages openness and kind spiritedness that's rare. while bead whoring is easy to tag as sinful greediness, there are beads enough for everyone.

if anything, bead whoring is about letting go. you have to let go of pride because you must beg. you have to let go of greed, because, at some point, you just can't carry any more. you have to let go of stereotypes, bigotry and phobias because you're out there on the street in an eclectic mix of people in myriad states of consciousness. in the end you have to simply laugh at yourself for taking so seriously worthless plastic beads.

having done this now for nine years, i can tell you that not participating is more silly than jumping in. if you stand aside and merely witness you won't experience any benefit. you will walk away with your contempt, that's all. if you participate, even just a little, jumping in, begging, groveling, shouting, leaping, reaching, and watching too (very important so you don't get clocked in the head) you will discover the wonderful cleansing properties of bead whoring. whoring rids you not only of adult behavior but of all the stuff that separates us, that leads us to ignorance and intolerance. i believe bead whoring is so respected down here because it is the therapy that everyone needs.