breathing

my friend roger drove down from montpelier today to guide me in a rebirthing breathing session. he's training in rebirthing facilitation with a man named jeremy in keene, new hampshire, and part of his training is to practice guiding. the breath is simple: you breath in and out through your mouth without stopping between the in and out. the inhalation is fairly rapid and the exhalation is all relaxation, unforced. i did this kind of breathing once before at kripalu in massachussetts.

it was an intense and novel experience then, so much so that i had some fear that it wouldn't be as good the second time around or that i might not be as moved as i had been at kripalu. but, trying my best to put those fears aside, roger and i began the session with some fun dancing around, just moving, getting blood flowing, energy up. i marvelled at roger's fluidity and grace when in motion, as i always have, while trying to bounce around loosely myself. then i lay down on the floor atop a couple yoga mats, my head on a pillow, legs outstretched, arms at my sides. roger placed two speakers beside my head and started up music. i began breathing. after a couple minutes, with roger coaching, i began to feel a bit of a headache, which is normal and which fades, or is overcome with other sensation, as you move further into the breath. the challenge for me is to keep breathing, and roger coached me well, reminding me often to keep breathing, that everything was fine.

with this breath, you are overbreathing, putting too much oxygen into your system, changing the balance of carbon dioxide and oxygen, and the natural response to this from the body is to stop breathing for a while, to let the levels return to normal. but forcing oxygen into the body awakens all kinds of energies, shifts the mind, time seems to stop for me, sensations that i've felt only while doing this breath flow through me and, for the most part, i lose track of my body and feel as if i'm floating. the strangest sensations are of boiling blood, intense tinglging and uncrontrollable cramping of the hands and feet called tetne (not sure how that's spelled).

in this session, i found myself dealing with fear of going too far, and i felt like i held back more than i had at kripalu, where i was one of twenty going though the experience in the same room after two days of intense personal exploration. this time i was in my own space, day-to-day life was all around me which i find makes the transition to other realities difficult. but, even though i didn't go as deep into the breathing, i was surprised by the intensity of the experience after i stopped breathing. waves of feeling came through, from happiness to sadness, fear and elation. the transition from intentional breathing to relaxed, normal breath was pronounced for me this time, and unlike the first time, where i was really out of it until the end, i found myself this time lucid soon after i stopped intentional breath and witness to a flood of feelings that seemed to wash around me like ocean swells around rocks. i found myself feeling the same kind of peace when watching the ocean swirl up and into rocks, foaming, roaring and then hissing, receding, only to be repeated. as time went on the tide kind of went out and i returned to feeling "normal" and opened my eyes. an hour and a half had passed!

this kind of breath has been explained to me in many ways, but for me the rebirth in it, from two experiences, comes from the "trip" nature of the experience, essentially leaving and coming back, rediscovering oneself like one rediscovers one's home when returning from a long trip away. it provides a fresh perspective and for me, a profound respect for breath.

i want to thank roger for facilitating and i look forward to doing it again!

prince of cups: ryan's eye: loving, tenderhearted, intuitive, psychic, spiritual