free body

there is a tool in structural engineering called a free body diagram in which you take a piece of a structure, for instance, a piece of steel in bridge, and analyze the forces acting upon it by looking at the connections the element makes to the larger structure. i feel this is happening to me in my relationship to gabriel. we have separated for a while freeing ourselves so that we can see the forces acting upon us without being connected. so much has shifted in me since the separation. i feel more connected to myself, my deepest wishes, and much more aware of the forces at play in my relationship with gabriel. i think we both were absorbing energy from each other to sustain our relationship in a way neither of us wanted. we overloaded each other. so, what is the next step? i think more time, to let things settle. gabriel and i haven't talked much, or seen each other much, but i think there will be a time in the next couple months where we should sit down and share.

i'm going to long island today to visit family. back august 1st.

card: knight of wands: fresh fish: be creative, enthusiastic, confident, courageous.